Lynn Framulare - The Story As I Knew It
by Ozzie Osband

Lynn Framulare
1957 - 2002

A memorial gathering was held on Saturday Aug 10 in Rockledge FL.

As per her wishes, her ashes were scattered along "The Strip" in Las Vegas, where she spent happier days on annual vacations with her mother.

Ozzie@SpaceyIdeas.Com

Lynn Framulare was my friend, and roommate for the past three years. She died on Tuesday, August 6, 2002. I'm sending this story to a mailing list I have with many past and present employees of Excell Agent Services where we met, and both worked. I'm also sending it to as many people as I can find in her "Chat Programs", and a few other friends.

I moved in with Lynn as her husband was moving out to "shack up" with his (then) secretary. They got together with a Paralegal long enough to fill out the "no-contest" divorce forms, and about a week after the divorce was final, he married the secretary. The last we heard from him, he'd moved off to Tampa Bay, and was NOT listed in the directory (I'd have been in touch during her final days, if I could have found him).

She never really got over his loss. She began drinking heavily about a year ago, and she would eat sparingly. It took her over a year to kill herself, but she finally accomplished the goal this week. When she asked for food, I always went and got it. She'd take a few bites, and then refused to eat more. "This is too cold," or "This is disgusting" were her common complaints. Whatever I could do, I did, but it was never enough for her.

I was there at the end, and while she'd been saying "Put a gun to my head" whenever I'd ask her what I could do for her for the past three months, she didn't really want to go. Her body wouldn't let her, until she finally wasn't eating at all, and expired early in the morning of August 6th. I was in the room when she died.

She has three posters in our living room. All have Marilyn Monroe in them. One is the famous shot of Marilyn above the Subway grate, with a train passing underneath. The air is forced out the grate, and is pushing up Marilyn's skirt. The next poster is called "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", and shows a Diner with a large picture window on a darkened street. Inside, Marilyn is on Humphrey Bogart's arm, while James Dean has a cup of coffee, and Elvis Presley is working behind the counter. The third poster shows Marilyn, Elvis, James Dean, and Sal Mineo - the Hollywood stars that "died young". These posters were up before I moved in, and it was all I could do to be allowed a couple of Space Shuttle posters above the computer table. "Hey, I live here too", was the argument that finally won this small victory. But her posters of "those that died young" always bothered me.

On August 5th I swore not to tell her the date. She was very good at dates. Things like annaversaries, and birthdays and the like. She knew the date that Marilyn Monroe died. It was August 5th, 1962. I was hoping she didn't know what the date was, but I suspect she just lost track of a day. She died very early into the morning of August 6th, probebly thinking she'd made it into the 5th. I have always felt guilty for not letting her know so she could "go out" when she rally wanted to.

Lynn's last days were spent under the care of the Hospice of St Francis at the Titusville Rehabilitation and Nursing Center. I want to thank them, and their staff for all of their help.

For those who are thinking of me, don't worry. I'm sad, but this isn't as upsetting as you might expect. Lynn was working towards this for a long time, and I was able to see it coming. Not only that, but while we were lovers and friends, this was not the "passionate love affair that dreams are made of". I moved in primarily to help pay the rent when her husband moved out. She offerred me cable TV and air conditioning - two luxuries I didn't have where I was living at the time. There wasn't a single frequency I could tune to on any of my radios that she liked. She never understood my interests, especially in Science Fiction, and wouldn't share my activities when invited. She had no interests to let me share, and that was one of her problems (in my humble opinion). She had no hobbies, and when the one stable thing in her life walked out (her husband), it took her a couple of years to fold her tent.


Addendum:

I've been asked why I wrote this web page. It was to answer the unasked question, "How could you let her do this?". The short answer, of course, is that I couldn't stop her. I've been told that this web page makes me look cold, and hard hearted. I'm sorry, but I had been living with her long decline for many months, and the end was expected. It was only a matter of time. She could have reversed the process at any time, but didn't want to.

I'm sad that she's gone, but she is also no longer in pain, whether from her back (she had 8 back surgeries in the span of her life), or the pain of her husband leaving her and running off with his secretary.


Whenever the topic of death came up, she always said she wanted to be cremated, her ashes placed in a paper bag, taken to The Strip in Las Vegas, a hole cut in the bag, and her ashes spread along The Strip. She and her mother (who died 12 years before) took annual trips to Las Vegas, and she spoke of them as her happiest days.

I had the opportunity to attend a computer conference in Las Vegas the following year. Her ashes were kept in a Marilyn Monroe lunch box that I got on eBay, and hand carried to Las Vegas. I don't think Lynn had been back to Vegas in recent years, and may not have known that much of The Strip (Las Vegas Blvd) has a median strip with plants, trees and bushes. It's probebly to keep the tourists from jay-walking. I jaywalked into the median, and went about my task to spread her ashes among the plants and trees there. On August 5th, 2003. She had mentioned the MGM Grand, and it was aross the street from New York, New York. It seemed the right place to do this.

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